forked from zuckerberg/dailybot
161 lines
8.0 KiB
Python
161 lines
8.0 KiB
Python
#!/usr/bin/env python3
|
|
# coding=utf-8
|
|
|
|
# Quotes from mg's theo.c
|
|
# http://cvsweb.openbsd.org/cgi-bin/cvsweb/src/usr.bin/mg/Attic/theo.c
|
|
|
|
'''
|
|
Copyright (C) 2018 drastik.org
|
|
|
|
This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify
|
|
it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by
|
|
the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or
|
|
any later version.
|
|
|
|
This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
|
|
but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
|
|
MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the
|
|
GNU General Public License for more details.
|
|
|
|
You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
|
|
along with this program. If not, see <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/>.
|
|
'''
|
|
|
|
import random
|
|
|
|
|
|
class Module:
|
|
def __init__(self):
|
|
self.commands = ['theo']
|
|
self.manual = {
|
|
"desc": ("Post quotes from OpenBSD mg's theo.c mode. This mode has"
|
|
" been removed from mg. This module includes all the"
|
|
" quotes from the last commit to theo.c before it was"
|
|
" removed: "
|
|
"http://cvsweb.openbsd.org/cgi-bin/cvsweb/src/usr.bin/"
|
|
"mg/Attic/theo.c"),
|
|
"bot_commands": {"theo": {"usage": lambda x: f"{x}theo"}}
|
|
}
|
|
|
|
|
|
talk = [
|
|
"Write more code.",
|
|
"Make more commits.",
|
|
"That's because you have been slacking.",
|
|
"slacker!",
|
|
"That's what happens when you're lazy.",
|
|
"idler!",
|
|
"slackass!",
|
|
"lazy bum!",
|
|
"Stop slacking you lazy bum!",
|
|
"slacker slacker lazy bum bum bum slacker!",
|
|
"I could search... but I'm a lazy bum ;)",
|
|
"sshutup sshithead, ssharpsshooting susshi sshplats ssharking assholes.",
|
|
"Lazy bums slacking on your asses.",
|
|
"35 commits an hour? That's pathetic!",
|
|
"Fine software takes time to prepare. Give a little slack.",
|
|
"I am just stating a fact",
|
|
"you bring new meaning to the terms slackass. I will have to invent a new term.",
|
|
"if they cut you out, muddy their back yards",
|
|
"Make them want to start over, and play nice the next time.",
|
|
"It is clear that this has not been thought through.",
|
|
"avoid using abort(). it is not nice.",
|
|
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in the last two or three minutes!",
|
|
"I'm not just doing this for crowd response. I need to be right.",
|
|
"I'd put a fan on my bomb.. And blinking lights...",
|
|
"I love to fight",
|
|
"No sane people allowed here. Go home.",
|
|
"you have to stop peeing on your breakfast",
|
|
"feature requests come from idiots",
|
|
"henning and darren / sitting in a tree / t o k i n g / a joint or three",
|
|
"KICK ASS. TIME FOR A JASON LOVE IN! WE CAN ALL GET LOST IN HIS HAIR!",
|
|
"shame on you for following my rules.",
|
|
"altq's parser sucks dead whale farts through the finest chemistry pipette's",
|
|
"screw this operating system shit, i just want to drive!",
|
|
"Search for fuck. Anytime you see that word, you have a paragraph to write.",
|
|
"Yes, but the ports people are into S&M.",
|
|
"Buttons are for idiots.",
|
|
"We are not hackers. We are turd polishing craftsmen.",
|
|
"who cares. style(9) can bite my ass",
|
|
"It'd be one fucking happy planet if it wasn't for what's under this fucking sticker.",
|
|
"I would explain, but I am too drunk.",
|
|
"you slackers don't deserve pictures yet",
|
|
"Vegetarian my ass",
|
|
"Wait a minute, that's a McNally's!",
|
|
"don't they recognize their moral responsibility to entertain me?",
|
|
"#ifdef is for emacs developers.",
|
|
"Many well known people become net-kooks in their later life, because they lose touch with reality.",
|
|
"You're not allowed to have an opinion.",
|
|
"tweep tweep tweep",
|
|
"Quite frankly, SSE's alignment requirement is the most utterly retarded idea since eating your own shit.",
|
|
"Holy verbose prom startup Batman.",
|
|
"Any day now, when we sell out.",
|
|
"optimism in man kind does not belong here",
|
|
"First user who tries to push this button, he pounds into the ground with a rant of death.",
|
|
"we did farts. now we do sperm. we are cutting edge.",
|
|
"the default configuration is a mixture of piss, puke, shit, and bloody entrails.",
|
|
"Stop wasting your time reading people's licenses.",
|
|
"doing it with environment variables is OH SO SYSTEM FIVE LIKE OH MY GOD PASS ME THE SPOON",
|
|
"Linux is fucking POO, not just bad, bad REALLY REALLY BAD",
|
|
"penguins are not much more than chickens that swim.",
|
|
"i am a packet sniffing fool, let me wipe my face with my own poo",
|
|
"Whiners. They scale really well.",
|
|
"in your world, you would have a checklist of 50 fucking workarounds just to make a coffee.",
|
|
"for once, I have nothing to say.",
|
|
"You have no idea how fucked we are",
|
|
"You can call it fart if you want to.",
|
|
"wavelan is a battle field",
|
|
"You are in a maze of gpio pins, all alike, all undocumented, and a few are wired to bombs.",
|
|
"And that is why humppa sucks... cause it has no cause.",
|
|
"cache aliasing is a problem that would have stopped in 1992 if someone had killed about 5 people who worked at Sun.",
|
|
"Don't spread rumours about me being gentle.",
|
|
"If municipal water filtering equipment was built by the gcc developers, the western world would be dead by now.",
|
|
"kettenis supported a new machine in my basement and all I got to do was fix a 1 character typo in his html page commit.",
|
|
"industry told us a lesson: when you're an asshole, they mail you hardware",
|
|
"I was joking, really. I think I am funny :-)",
|
|
"the kernel is a harsh mistress",
|
|
"Have I ever been subtle? If my approach ever becomes subtle, shoot me.",
|
|
"the acpi stabs you in the back. the acpi stabs you in the back. you die ...",
|
|
"My cats are more observant than you.",
|
|
"our kernels have no bugs",
|
|
"style(9) has all these fascist rules, and i have a problem with some of them because i didn't come up with them",
|
|
"I'm not very reliable",
|
|
"I don't like control",
|
|
"You aren't being conservative -- you are trying to be a caveman.",
|
|
"nfs loves everyone",
|
|
"basically, dung beetles fucking. that's what kerberosV + openssl is like",
|
|
"I would rather run Windows than use vi.",
|
|
"if you assign that responsibility to non-hikers I will walk over and cripple you now.",
|
|
"i ojbect two yoru splelng of achlhlocis.",
|
|
"We have two kinds of developers - those that deal with their own shit and those that deal with other people's shit.",
|
|
"If people keep adding such huge stuff, soon mg will be bigger than emacs.",
|
|
"this change comes down to: This year, next year, 5 years from now, 10 years from now, or Oh fuck.",
|
|
"backwards compatibility is king, and will remain king, until 2038.",
|
|
"I don't know if the Internet's safe yet.",
|
|
"Those who don't understand Unix are condemned to reinvent Multics in a browser",
|
|
"Don't tell anybody I said that.",
|
|
"Complaint forms are handled in another department.",
|
|
"You'd be safer using Windows than the code which was just deleted.",
|
|
"Shit should not be shared.",
|
|
"the randomization in this entire codebase is a grand experiment in stupid",
|
|
"My mailbox is full of shock.",
|
|
"my integer overflow spidey senses are tingling.",
|
|
"I'm just trying to improve the code...",
|
|
"It's a pleasure to work on code you can't make worse.",
|
|
"It's largely bad style to do (int)sizeof",
|
|
"When I see Makefile.in, I know that \"in\" is short for \"insane\".",
|
|
"This is the beer. And that's why we need a hackathon.",
|
|
"Kill the past with fire, and declare Duran Duran is less cool today. Await remixes of the same thing performed by new talent.",
|
|
"Where did my \"fuck backwards compat\" compatriots go?",
|
|
"I want a new vax, one that's not so slow.",
|
|
"This sausage is made from unsound meat.",
|
|
"The people who wrote this code are not on your side.",
|
|
"Well finally everyone can see that the shit is really shitty.",
|
|
"All that complexity stopped us from getting flying cars by today."
|
|
]
|
|
|
|
|
|
def main(i, irc):
|
|
msg = f"{i.nickname}: {random.SystemRandom().choice(talk)}"
|
|
irc.privmsg(i.channel, msg)
|